No Act of Kindness is a Wasted Effort

I fly a lot. Even during the heart of the pandemic, I was on the road coaching in numerous school districts as part of long-term projects.  Now things are absolutely crazy but in a good way. Job-embedded and ongoing professional learning is being prioritized in schools, which means my travel is back to pre-pandemic levels.  As much as I love what I do, being away from the comforts of home is stressful.  Any little perk I can get is well received as it makes it a tad bit easier to be away from home.  Herein lies the reason why I am loyal to one airline.

From my lens, loyalty has its benefits.  Thus, I tend to fly United no matter what. The only time a different airline is selected is because I have no other choice if I want to get to that location without having to drive a long distance once I land. On a recent Sunday, I headed from Houston, TX to Omaha, NE to kick off the year for Papillion La Vista Community Schools. Usually, I head out earlier in the day, but on this occasion, I opted to take a late flight out so I could spend time with my family.  Once on the plane, I did what I usually do – sleep. Work also manages to get done at some point, but for some reason, I am out cold taxiing to the runway.

I must have been extremely exhausted as I slept the entire flight.  As the plane landed, I quickly drank some water and gathered my belongings. A flight attendant named David handed me a postcard with a handwritten note and thanked me for my loyalty on the way out.  I can’t begin to express how much this meant to me. The life of a road warrior isn’t for the faint of heart.  It can actually get quite depressing at times as well as tiring.  David’s random act of kindness did not go unnoticed. In fact, it has been on my mind each time I board a United plane.  Below is a picture of the note.

Technology sometimes removes the human element from kind gestures.  The note David wrote would not have had the same impact or value if it had been in the form of an email or text.  Now I am not saying these gestures aren’t effective, but if you can go with a more traditional option the act of kindness can be amplified.  In our busy lives, we often overlook the little things. David took a few minutes out of his day to be kind, and it mattered.

Never miss an opportunity to show gratitude or bestow kindness on another person. Small, selfless acts like these don’t take much effort but can totally change the trajectory of other people and maybe even yours.

Whether you are a teacher or an administrator, the little time it takes to bestow kindness on a student, colleague, or parent could be the best few minutes of their day and possibly yours.  Even though texting and email are the convenient approaches, consider these options:

• Handwritten note or Post It
• Card with a personal message
• Food, especially sweets
• A small, inexpensive gift that has meaning
• Phone or video call
• Drop by a classroom, office, home, or anywhere else physically
• Cover a class for a teacher or colleague

No act of kindness is a wasted effort. With the pandemic still negatively impacting the lives of so many, going the extra mile to be nice and show gratitude is worth its weight in gold. While the business of life often gets in the way, making consistent efforts to show kindness is what the world can always use a little bit more of, especially right now.

Extending Grace to Yourself

The shift to remote and hybrid learning has not been easy, and I don't think anyone would claim that the journey was smooth sailing.  As I continue to work with districts and schools on an on-going basis, I try my best to help them overcome continuous challenges and frustrations. Through it all, educators have risen to the occasion and have innovated their practice at a more frequent pace than any time in history. At least, that is the way I see it, but as the pandemic wears on, educators are still trying to figure things out.  I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Virtually everyone, no matter the profession, has and continues to experience challenges during this unique time.  Just take a look below at what this lawyer went through.

I can't help but laugh every time I watch the video above and never even knew that there were avatar filters available in Zoom. However, there is a fundamental lesson here. We are still in a constant state of flux.  So much of what we are attempting to do is new, or other challenges materialize out of the blue.  Professional learning can most certainly help, but that has been placed on the back burner in many cases.  Thus, it often falls on educators themselves to figure things out.  Then there is the fact that students and colleagues are in desperate need of support so that natural reaction is to put individual needs on the back burner to help others.  While this is admirable and the right thing to do, it is imperative that educators extend some grace to themselves. 

It seems simple, but the reality is that extending grace to yourself isn't easy or something one aspires to do because it just doesn't feel right. Nancy Fulkerson explains why it is essential to do so.

When you feel like your day is unraveling or you've been hard on yourself for whatever reason, "giving yourself grace" is about giving yourself that kindness you often deserve. Sounds awesome. The type of thing you'd want your best friend to do for herself because you don't want to see her breakdown.

The fact of the matter is that what you have done and will continue to do matters. During tough times giving yourself some grace can make all the difference. Here are five ways to do this:

1. Dedicate an hour doing something you are passionate about.
2. Give yourself a pat on the back or even look in the mirror while stating that you did well today.
3. Engage in something that is all about YOU.
4. Close your eyes and take a deep breath when something doesn't go right.
5. Begin and conclude your workday with self-affirmations.

Things will not always go as planned, and adversity will always be around the corner.  Continue to always show grace to others while remembering that you need it as well. It is more than ok to give yourself a pick-me-up when needed.  Please know that your dedication and commitment are truly appreciated. 

Give and Take Ideas to Support Teachers

The pandemic has really put a strain on educators, yet they continue to rise to the occasion on behalf of kids. This has come at a cost both mentally, socially, and physically. Something has to give. There has been a great deal of conversation lately about what can be taken off the plates of teachers.  I have to commend those administrators who are working to find ways to put their staff more at ease in these challenging times. While removing specific responsibilities to reduce stress and anxiety is a great start, we must also consider what can be given to them to provide multifaceted support. Giving can be just as, if not more, powerful than taking away, which is typically the more straightforward option. 

Below are some ideas that I have. Some are more doable than others, but all are realistic.

Time

If there is one thing that teachers consistently ask for, it is time to plan, create videos, grade, conference with remote students, update the LMS, etc. I don't want to belabor this point as I recently wrote about the topic. You can view the post HERE. The main takeaway with time though is to develop ways to give it unconditionally to teachers and not schedule or mandate anything else in its place, such as meetings or PLC's. 

Eliminating Meetings

Let's be honest for a minute. No one truly likes meetings, and the value of them is open to interpretation. I, for one, did not find value in them when I was a principal and eliminated most while reducing the time of the ones that were kept. Now I am not saying that all meetings don't have value, but while the pandemic rages on minutes and essential information can be emailed to staff or made part of a collaborative Google Doc. 

Coaching and Feedback

There is a difference between wanting to be left alone and a desire to grow. The majority of educators fall into the latter. Even in the midst of challenging times, growth is necessary to meet the needs of diverse learners. Now is not the time to revert back to traditional observation and evaluation protocols because, quite frankly, they will not result in improved outcomes.  Taking this away and replacing with non-evaluative strategies consisting of coaching and feedback will go a long way towards creating an empathetic environment.  

Prioritize standards

It is unrealistic to try to cover the entire curriculum as educators are implementing hybrid models for the first time, and increasing COVID cases is forcing some schools back to remote learning. An emphasis on priority standards can significantly reduce teachers' burden while streamlining other pedagogy aspects, such as assessment. Other elements to consider are aligning formative tasks and checks for understanding to those prioritized standards so teachers can monitor the learning of students. In the end, more manageable conditions are created for teachers. 

Grading grace periods

There is inequity when it comes to grading, as some subject areas require a great deal more time because of the nature of the content. Additionally, many teachers are still getting used to tasks and assessments in a hybrid environment. Even though deadlines are needed showing a little grace will always be appreciated.

Cover classes

Some districts and schools are hiring substitutes. Others are seeing their administrators offer their time and that of other non-teaching staff members. No matter the route taken, this strategy is sure to build up morale. There should be no catch when a class is covered, and it should be up to the teacher as to how he or she will use this opportunity to either grade, prepare lessons, attend professional learning, observe peers, or just put up their feet and relax. 

Eliminate non-instructional duties 

Many contracts have teachers assume a duty either during the school day or after. These can include cafeteria, hall, in-school suspension, extracurricular, or athletics, where there is no compensation. If possible, try to eliminate all of these. If you can't, consider developing a schedule where administrators and other support staff can fill them in lieu of teachers. 

Choice in professional learning

Forcing educators to engage in one-size-fits-all professional development at this time will tend to be hit or miss depending on the person. Mostly miss as there is a definite need for practical strategies in the areas of remote, hybrid, and blended learning facilitated in practical ways. Growth and improvement are of vital importance, but it needs to be something that educators want to engage in at a time when there are so many challenges. Consider providing different choices such as face-to-face, virtual, blended, or asynchronous options. It is also wise to gather input from staff to determine what they feel is needed. 

Communicate norms to families

One of the most common frustrations I hear from teachers when I am coaching is that they can't keep up with all parent emails that come in after school hours, mostly from remote learners and parents. I have gone as far as to recommend that teachers state they're out of office on their email each evening from 5:00 PM until 7:00 AM. Establishment of, and then clear communication of, norms can go a long way towards taking away some emails and messages, especially late at night and early in the morning. In Digital Leadership, I lay out the importance of using a multifaceted approach to meet stakeholders where they are while reinforcing the vital message at hand. Develop the norms with teachers and then "pound the pavement" with digital communications. 

Mental health days

With a substitute shortage, this could be a bit dicey, but the overall impact far outweighs the short-lived frustration of covering classes in a pinch. Based on the size of a district or school, a determination can be made as to how many of these days can be realistically given to each teacher. 

Empathetic leadership is critical to helping staff get through challenging times. Using a give and take strategy and lessening the burden will create a culture of empowerment.  As people have different needs, it is crucial to consider various options as there is no one right way to help people at any point in time. Work to take things off educators' plates, but also consider what you can personally give. In the end, powerful relationships will be formed, and that benefits everyone.

Empathetic Remote and Hybrid Learning

As almost all schools across the globe are back in session in some form or another, many have decided to begin the year remotely with the hopes that COVID-19 cases will subside in the coming months. Others have started the year with some sort of hybrid model.  There is no easy decision when it comes to determining which pathway is the most appropriate at this time. Each, in its own right, presents particular challenges. Regardless of the route taken, all learners and adults' health and safety should be the driving force that determines whether to stay the course or move in another direction.

There is a great deal of stress on students, parents, and administrators, and even more on teachers. The next few weeks, or even months, will be ridden with anxiety, fear, and at times confusion no matter how prepared a district or school is. What we have learned about COVID-19 is that it can spiral out of control at a moment's notice if social distancing and health recommendations aren't followed. However, this is not all doom and gloom. Throughout the pandemic, educators have embraced new opportunities that have materialized and taken advantage of a clean slate. Innovative practices and technology that might have been on the back-burner months ago are now front and center. Rest assured, when this is all over the resilience of teachers and administrators will help usher in a new normal that better meets the needs of all learners.

Now more than ever, empathy is needed to help everyone get through remote or hybrid learning. The reality is that successes are and have been, overshadowed by fear, stress, and anxiety at levels never experienced.  Below I will address six specific areas that can help to create an empathetic teaching and learning culture.  

Time

As I work with more and more teachers across the country, this is the number one issue that consistently comes up.  Teaching both face-to-face and remote learners at the time is not easy, but I recently developed a pedagogical framework using a station rotation model that can help. Many hybrid learning models have either an entire day (typically Wednesday or Friday) for teachers to plan, grade, provide interventions, and conference with students.  Some set aside a half-day.  Administrators can even cut any non-instructional duties to free up teachers. Remote teachers also need time, which is why having them follow a traditional school day schedule doesn't make much sense, especially when asynchronous tasks can be employed, freeing up much needed minutes or even hours.  

Support

Teachers and administrators need professional learning that aligns with the challenges they currently face and the demands of education in a COVID-19 world.  Targeted presentations can now be facilitated virtually, both live and on-demand, in time-sensitive ways.  Job-embedded coaching, which most educators yearn for, can also be facilitated virtually or face-to-face.  Asynchronous models that address the time issue above can also be used to mirror the same conditions that learners will experience either remotely or in a hybrid model.  Support can also come in the form of budget allocations for needed technology, an administrator covering a teacher's class, feedback, granting mental health days, listening to and then acting on general concerns, allocating time each day to check in with remote learners, and providing daily encouragement through inspirational messages. Another suggestion is moving around personnel so that there are dedicated teachers just for the remote learners in a hybrid model. Even though balancing both face-to-face and remote kids can be done successfully, it is still a challenge.

Grace

Depending on your position, leading and teaching with grace is the epitome of an empathetic culture. This can mean many different things to people, but overall it can be characterized by being welcoming, patient, warm, and kind. It's about emphasizing relationships over discipline or correction. For a learner, it might be giving him or her multiple chances on an assessment or to complete a project.  Or it might be a focus on restorative practices that emphasize forgiveness and the building of relationships. Leading with grace is all about service to others with a focus on humility and respect. From an administrator perspective, it means treating teachers with dignity and exhibiting generosity in addition to the characteristics listed earlier in this paragraph. When it is all said and done, continuously ask these questions when someone might be having a difficult day:

• Are you ok?
• Is there anything I can do for you or that you need?
• Is your current workload manageable?

Exemplars

Empathy is about putting yourself in the shoes of others. Modeling through exemplars is a great way to help ease potential concerns, fear, and anxiety on behalf of learners, teachers, and administrators. Showing examples of sound remote and hybrid pedagogy, as well as successful implementation plans, builds confidence in that you don't have to reinvent the wheel.  Recently I shared what some Corinth School District educators in Mississippi were doing and received some very positive feedback. In particular, teachers want to see what this looks like in alignment with their grade level and content focus. 

Flexibility

For remote or hybrid to work, a flexible approach has to be prioritized. Having teachers and students follow a rigid schedule that replicates what traditional schooling has looked like for years could dramatically impact morale, attentiveness, and motivation.  Video conference fatigue is a real issue, and it just doesn't make sense to have remote learners log in from home when they could just watch the recorded highlights and then complete the same tasks that they could in class asynchronously. Teachers also get fatigued if they are on a screen too long.  If the decision has been made for all students to be remote, then at the very least, each teacher should be given a choice as to whether or not they want to teach from their classroom or home. Other areas that can show flexibility include deadlines, attendance, and general with teachers and students.

Compassion

Some might think grace and compassion are the same things. Even though they are similar, there is a difference.  Compassionate teaching and leadership consider any type of suffering and move towards specific actions to relieve it.  The pandemic has resulted in so many misfortunes that are difficult to wrap our heads around.  This is why social-emotional learning (SEL) should be integrated into any learning model, but it also has to be adapted for adults as well.  Henri Nouwen said it best, "Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human."

There is hope as educators continue to embark into the great unknown. The virus will eventually be subdued. New learning models and innovative pedagogies will take hold. Parents and students will be more comfortable with and open to different ways to learn. Resilient educators who triumphed in the face of adversity will lead education in a better direction. Empathy will not only help us get through to better days but will also help to establish a thriving school culture grounded in relationships.

Be sure to check out my entire #remotelearning series. 

Humanity's Gift

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” ― Dalai Lama

Typically, I am a very focused writer.  Each post, for the most part, contains ideas and strategies focusing on improving teaching, learning, and leadership.  I often talk about accountability, evidence, and efficacy. This post will not follow that recipe. Please excuse any grammatical mistakes. 

When I began writing this post my house was being pelted with a wind-driven rain from the remnants of Hurricane Harvey.  By the time I actually got around to posting this piece on my blog the Houston area is still drying out. This has now been the worst flood in the history of the United States.  Having road out Hurricane Sandy in New York City back in 2012 I can say that this experience was worse.  In just 57 hours Harvey went from basically nothing to a Category 4 hurricane, the strongest to hit Texas in close to 50 years. The flooding and damage in the areas where the storm hit is unimaginable.  

We received approximately 28 inches of rain in just two days. Things down here were worse than what people were seeing on the news. For a 24-hour period Saturday into Sunday, there were non-stop tornado warnings with a bunch touching down in our neighborhood making sleep difficult. My kids slept in the closet for two nights as they were scared to death. All roads in/out of our community were flooded, so we couldn’t get out if we wanted to. I was outside constantly draining my pool as the surrounding drains wouldn’t have been able to do anything with the water.  The pool could have flooded my entire house from the back.  On Monday morning the water was only a few feet from our house. I wasn't worried until then. We have a lake on the left side of our house as well as one in the front.  The lake across the street had spilled over and merged with another lake.  All I could do at that point was pray for the rain to stop. Click HERE is you want to see a video from the early stages of the storm. You can also view some storm picture on my Instagram account. 

Image credit: kindnessblogdotcom1.files.wordpress.com

Late Monday afternoon a river began pouring into our section and the forecast wasn’t looking too good. Water levels kept rising. Since the water was only a few feet from our doors we decided to seal them using a method that one of our community members recommended on Facebook. One of our saving graces were the local Facebook pages in our community offering support, advice, and needed humor to take our minds off things.  The lake to the left of our house eventually breached.  We moved all important stuff to the second level. We had friends with boats who could get us out if needed. It was terrifying to know that no matter what you did it would not be enough if nature had its way.  

Monday night we planned for the worst. However, our prayers were answered Tuesday morning. Even though it was still raining the water began to recede. We had 33 inches of rain while south of us had over 40. We felt blessed and extremely lucky at the same time. Both airports were still closed at this time and flooding to the south of us had turned catastrophic. My hope was that the water had receded enough so I could get out of my community and help in any way I could. Finally, later that day I was able to begin to help those in need in my community. Thanks to my neighbor and his truck we made it to the grocery store to buy needed supplies for displaced families. As we were buying supplies people in line began to chip in. I began to shake and held back tears.  Humanity was beginning to rise to the occasion.

By Wednesday the water in the community I live in had receded for the most part. Our efforts were now focused on helping those around us who were not as fortunate. I teared up when I arrived at the local church with supplies and saw there was a line to drop off items. More people were volunteering across Harvey stricken areas than were needed. We saw (and are still seeing) people step up and work together regardless of race, ethnicity, political affiliations, sexual orientation, and whatever other conflicts arose in the past. Now that's humanity at its finest. Some people were surely wondering why I was posting so much about what I was specifically doing to help. It's pretty simple - my hope was that my small actions would inspire more people to take action and help. I told people on Facebook not to be proud of me for doing what was right. Be proud if a movement results. 

Shana White shared this on Facebook, "Our character is revealed to others by the fruit we produce. Adversity usually provides more character and transparency than comfortable times, but they both provide a true indication of who you are. What kind of fruit do others see from you?" Life can't always be about what we do for ourselves. It has to be equally about what we do for others. Will you step up?

Thursday was a physically exhausting day. It had been 6 days since the hurricane hit and many homes that took on water just had it recede. A bunch of us from my neighborhood drove 30 miles south to hard-hit Richmond, TX to help out the father of one of our neighbors. I in particular wasn't ready for the scale of the flooding. Watching it on TV and then seeing it in person are two different things. Mountains of debris littered the neighborhood. However, what you saw were people from all walks of life coming together to pitch in and save homes.

While I was there I kept getting email notifications that brought me to tears (again). Friends, former students, and neighbors had begun to send money to my PayPal account. This all started the a day before when a member of my PLN asked if he could send money for my supply runs. I never asked for any money to be sent and still haven't, but you cannot deny the human spirit.  I used some of the money to buy pizza for the entire neighborhood where we were helping. This was made possible thanks to the compassion of others. There is so much good in people. This is my big takeaway these past few days. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring for me, but I do know countless more people near and far would rise to the occasion to help. 

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.”  ― John Holmes

By Friday I couldn’t believe it had already been a week since the storm hit. This was the longest seven day stretch of my life. After helping out my neighbors with a flooded home the day before I took to social media at night. Twitter was used to build awareness and share information about where donations were needed. Facebook had been a godsend in terms of identifying people who needed immediate help. I learned of a few families who lost everything. Thanks to some generous donations I was able to purchase gift cards for clothes/supplies and hand delivered them that morning. 

On my way back home I saw local CFISD schools doing a “fill the boat” fundraiser. It's always great to see students, teachers, and parents rallying together to support the needs of others. The rest of the day was spent working to save flooded homes. Many homes were still flooded and couldn’t be tended to and the majority of Texans don't have flood insurance, which makes the situation much worse. My neighbors and I formed our own little cleanup crew. We were able to hit two different locations. What was awesome to see was how local cleanup crews from across the greater Houston community formed. Social media was being used to organize and dispatch teams to specific addresses. I even learned of a new app called Zello that many were using to coordinate efforts. So many people took off work and time away from their families to help people, many of which they didn’t even know. It was a humbling experience to see many people use their privilege for good.   

"Remember that the happiest people aren’t those getting more, but those giving more”. - H. Jackson Brown

As I continue to write I cry, something I did quite often all last week.  My family was relatively safe throughout this ordeal, but the destruction just a bit south of us broke, and continues to break, my heart.  The local news showed non-stop destruction that was unfathomable.  It also brought to light the countless stories of heroism, bravery, relationship building, service, empathy, and unselfishness. Thankfully I was home for this ordeal.  I work with some incredible people at the International Center for Leadership in Education and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Even though my flights to the Northeast were cancelled I wasn’t going anywhere even if they weren’t.  I had the peace of mind to put work and travel on the back burner to be here for my family.  You can’t put a price tag on that.  

All week I was bombarded with texts, calls, emails, and social media posts from friends and family all over the world.  People I barely know or didn’t even know at all took the time to reach out. No one really knew what we were dealing with and how bad the flooding was in my community.  As I posted daily updates on my Facebook page more and more people offered prayers and support.  Through it all everyone asked what they could do to help or wished they were in a position to do more.  The fact of the matter is if you made the effort and took the time to reach out to anyone impacted by this storm then you did all you could do.

My wife and I can't thank many of you enough for all the thoughts and prayers that were sent our way. The days since the storm started have been excruciatingly long and nerve-raking, but the messages of hope and optimism helped us get through this even though the recovery effort has a long way to go. As all the messages of support flew in so many people asked what they could do. My response was simple – “You’ve already done something just by showing you care.”  Showing you care for anyone here in TX was all anyone could do from afar. One of humanity’s greatest gifts is empathy and showing others compassion, no matter where you are. 

It was refreshing in particular to see social media used for a greater purpose other than just pushing out ideas, articles, thoughts, and resources.  I developed a greater appreciation (and at times cynicism if we are being honest) for how Twitter in particular was used.   When you look at life through a completely different lens you see things that you never realized were right in front of you.  By putting work, personal issues, and politics aside just for a few minutes many people rose to the occasion.  They modeled the most enduring characteristics of humanity and helped countless people (including me) get through this horrific ordeal.  This might be the most important life lesson we can impart on our students and continue to learn ourselves.  

Life is a gift. Together we can learn to better appreciate this gift. We must use our various forms of privilege, including digital spaces, that many of us have not just during catastrophe’s like this, but also in other cases when we are compelled to do the right thing. There is more LOVE here than water. You can't go anywhere any not see it. Love conquers all including any differences we have that might seem insurmountable. This is humanity’s gift. 

Empathy and Leadership

“It is easy to knock people down. Building people up is at the heart of empathetic leadership.” - @E_Sheninger

No significant relationship can exist without trust. Without relationships, no significant learning occurs. As I continue to research and reflect on strategies to build powerful relationships with others, the topic of empathy has a consistent presence.  In simple terms, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. So how does this connect to leadership?  I pulled a few connections from an article by Bruna Martinuzzi that address this topic. Below are some highlights.

• Empathy is the oil that keeps relationships running smoothly.
• Research by Dr. Antonio Damasio has shown people with damage to part of the brain associated with empathy show significant deficits in relationship skills, even though their reasoning and learning abilities remain intact.
• Empathy is valued currency. It allows us to create bonds of trust, gives us insights into what others may be feeling or thinking, helps us understand how or why others are reacting to situations, and informs our decisions.
• Tips to become more empathetic include listening, encouragement, know people’s names, don’t interrupt, be cognizant of non-verbal communication, smile, be fully present, and use genuine praise.
• Empathy is an emotional and thinking muscle that becomes stronger the more we use it. 

Let’s be honest.  Empathy is not a typical component of core training and coursework in the field of education.  It is something that we typically learn from our parents, friends, and colleagues.  In my opinion, empathy should be a core component of curriculum in schools and the culture of any organization. Truth be told, this at times can be a difficult lesson for many of us to master. Talking about empathy and demonstrating it are two entirely different concepts. Our mindset and certain pre-dispositions put our own feelings and needs before others.   This is not always a negative, but something that many of us would agree must change.  

As leaders, it is important for us to imagine ourselves in the position of our students, staff, and community members. This gives us a better perspective on the challenges and feelings of those we are tasked to serve. Better, more informed decisions can result from “walking in the shoes” of those who will be most impacted by the decisions that we make. The image below does a great job at articulating four key elements of empathy.

As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” A culture of excellence is created through relationships built on trust and sustained through empathy. Showing we care can be as simple as listening intently, demonstrating emotional intelligence, or being non-judgmental when others open up to us about their feelings, concerns, or challenges. However, actions that bring empathy to life can have a profound impact on others. To see what I mean check out this brief video below.

As you think about your professional role as a teacher, administrator, board member, entrepreneur, or in any other field, reflect on how you can be more empathetic towards the people you work with and for. For some of our students the only empathy they might receive occurs within the schoolhouse walls. Regardless of your leadership position, understand that trust is a currency that should be valued above all else. If people don’t trust and relate to you then chances are you are a manager, not a leader. Empathetic leadership not only builds trust, but creates a culture where students want to learn and adults strive to perform their best. In BrandED, Trish Rubin and I discuss the powerful role empathy plays in the stories we share and the relationships we strive to build. 

Make empathy a part of your professional role. In the end you will be a stronger leader and a better person for it.

Show You Care

As an identical twin it was always a challenge going through school.  Initially my brother and I had to deal with the fact that our teachers could not tell us apart. My grandmother rectified this problem by outfitting each of us with belts that had our first initial on them.  As we aged beyond the elementary years, teachers began to tell us apart better as some slight differences in appearance began to take shape as well as some major shifts in personality.  Thank goodness for that, as we would never have survived through the middle school years if we were still forced to wear those belts. 

The second challenge came in the form of academic achievement.  For my twin, learning and success, based on traditional metrics, came very easily.  It seemed to me at least that he did not have to put in much effort to earn high marks on assessments. Obviously my stance on grades and learning has changed a great deal since then, but this nonetheless posed yet another challenge of being a twin.  I had to study twice as long or longer just to earn a B in many of the same classes where my brother got an A. School came much easier for my brother.

My saving grace came in the form of some amazing teachers. I loved the life sciences, particularly biology. My love for science eventually led me to pursue an undergraduate degree in marine biology.  This genuine interest took hold in the 7th grade thanks to Mr. South, my science teacher.  As I got to high school I still had a strong interest in science, but struggled in certain courses such as chemistry and anatomy/physiology.  The struggle was amplified as my brother excelled in both courses. Ah, the joy of going to a small school.

Thankfully for me Dr. Raymond Hynoski was the teacher of both these courses. He was a quirky fellow at times, but someone who had a firm grasp of the content and helped students master the concepts.  Each of his classes was filled with humor, relevance, and inspiration that everyone in the class could be a chemist or doctor.  His most endearing characteristic was how he consistently went above and beyond to let all his students know that he cared.  Each day I looked forward to attending his classes even if I struggled.  I might not have done as well as I would have liked in his courses, but I tried hard and Dr. Hynoksi was able to emphasize even the slightest successes in my efforts to learn the concepts. I had to take chemistry.  It was not a choice. Anatomy and physiology was an elective that I only signed up for because Dr. Hynoski was the teacher. 

There are many lessons that caring educators such as Dr. Hynoski teach us.  So much pressure is placed on teachers and administrators to achieve at all costs. Rankings, stakeholder perceptions about the importance of standardized test scores, and honor rolls do nothing but make this issue worse. This is unfortunate as grades and scores are not what students will remember.  What will resonate with students long after they have passed through our schools are the educators who believed in them. The ability of educators to provide hope and encouragement that inspire learners to follow their dreams and aspirations provides a priceless value that is not often acknowledged publicly, but greatly appreciated privately.

Image credit: Jackie Gerstein

The power of empathy and the act of caring could mean the difference between a child sticking out school or dropping out.  School to many children serves as a refuge from the harsh world that is their unfortunate reality. It could also provide invaluable lessons that fuel a career path that might never have been imagined.  Showing that you care daily takes only a little effort, but the potential payoff is much more valuable than what you could ever receive in a monetary sense. 

All kids have greatness hidden inside them. It is the job of an educator to help them find and unleash it. Show that you care especially as students struggle. You can never care too much.  Thank you to Dr. Hynoksi and many of my other teachers for teaching me what truly matters in life.

As adults we must not forget the power of showing each other we care.  Positive encouragement and support go a long way in helping others cope with the challenges of life while building lasting relationships. Take the time to mail a card, make a phone call, or send an electronic form of communication not just to those in need, but to others on a whim. In my opinion, there is not a right or wrong way to care…. we just need to make more concerted efforts to do it regularly.